Monday, May 26, 2014

Pondering...

Last week, two homeschool moms asked me how I manage to finish up our school on time each year?  If there was some magic trick in doing so?

Instantly, my mouth opened and with great disdain the following just rolled off my tongue, "I really don't like homeschooling, and I just want it done."

I wanted to retract those words immediately because the tone I used made them sound so ugly and negative, and for the love of Pete!   Hadn't I just come back from a lovely mini vacation 72 hours prior to this conversation?  Which was to refresh my spirit and regroup?  

While on my mini vacation, I had realized that my near-constant complaining  about homeschooling to David or acting as though I detest it must send one nasty message to him when he sacrifices so much in order for us to homeschool.  How does all of my complaining make him feel?  Unappreciated perhaps?  As a mom, I cannot stand it when my kids seem to be on a complaining binge, and truthfully, it makes my heart so sad when they do just that.

I was conveying these thoughts to another homeschool mom a couple of days later, when she referred to this feeling as (in her own words)..."I am just ready to be the mom again."



I'm just ready to be the mom again.

That's it.

What teacher isn't ready for summer break?  I'm tired of being the 24/7 school teacher.  I'm tired of being the nagging school teacher mom, the task master mom, the "mean" parent pushing the child along to stay on target with school...morning, noon, and night, because we do have homework even though we homeschool.  (Jr and Sr High isn't so easy peasy as the early elementary years.)  At bedtime I just want them in their beds, out of my sight.  I want to be alone.  I know that must sound horrible.

You may ask where is David in all of this?  Well, he can be found raising funds in order to keep a roof over our school house.

I am so ready for school to be over because I just want to be a mom, not the school teacher.

I want to be a happier, funnier, more relaxed mom.  I want to have energy that flows well past my current bewitching hour.  I want to have a slower pace, not rushing my kids through the day as I check off each moment from our never-ending, daily "to do" list.

Wanting to just be Mom is what drives me to stay on task and finish up on time.  Knowing that I have 6-8 weeks off is the light at the end of the tunnel.  It guides our homeschool to stay on task (almost) always.  And by the end of each school year, I'm tired and worn out.

So for now, (and the next seven weeks),  I am just Mom.  For the next seven weeks I plan to relish the role and thank God for  the opportunity to be Mom.  I love that role.

*When I say "just Mom", that isn't meant in a derogatory manner.  No m'am!  The role of Mom is another full time and honorable (blessing) vocation in and of itself.  I'm just thrilled to have the two roles separated for a little while.

~  Patty  ~


11 comments:

  1. I could completely identify with this post! Just recently I was finally able to make this same connection and uttered the words "I just want to be the mom." Along with you, I want to be lighthearted, carefree, fun and be able to relax a bit. Summer allows me to do that because being the teacher 24/7 is tough and sometimes I lose the chance to be Mom. By mid August I'll be ready to be the teacher again, ready for the structure, ready to be lesson planning and get back to settling in. For now, I'm counting down the hours until I can just be MOM. That has some very promising potential for the next couple months and I cannot wait!

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    1. Yes! By the end of our summer break I'll be SO ready for routine, too. It's definitely by the fourth quarter that I run out of juice.

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  2. Have you considered changing your way of teaching? Perhaps they fight you so much because they resist the style of teaching?

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    1. You know, I think it is actually more me. Seriously. I can be so militant on moving forward. Is there such a thing as being too firm? I think never having time to myself (throughout the school year) is the main catalyst for frustration. I get so tired of being around them 24/7. I know not all homeschool moms feel the way I do, but I have to put it out there. Do you take time out for yourself? How do you schedule it?

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  3. It's just really nice to have a change in the routine and be able to kick back a little bit! But then it is always nice to go back to the routine of school and all the fun that goes with it! I think even if my kids were all in school I would be glad for a break from the school routine!

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    1. Okay. So far, I'm loving the change in routine and plan to get as much rest out of it that I can :)

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  4. You have said something very true here Patty, thank you. I definitely feel like this a lot of the time. Especially towards June! I suppose we are not made to work continually to the same pattern and need a change of pace and activity to keep us fresh. Even Jesus (or do I mean that without the "even") went off to refresh His spirit, He knew about the fatigue and strain that we experience as humans. It is mentioned loads of times in the Gospels that he went alone to a quiet place. We shouldn't treat ourselves any differently.

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    1. So true! I need to stop and remember this more often since I tend to feel "guilty" if I am not looking as happy, calm, or serene as so many other homeschool mothers tend to appear to me. (And this is my own fault.)

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  5. Such and awesome, honest post! Enjoy your summer just being mom!!! You deserve it!

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    1. Thanks, Tara. Planning on doing so :)

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  6. Enjoy your next 7 weeks and just being a mom! :)

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