Last week, two homeschool moms asked me how I manage to finish up our school on time each year? If there was some magic trick in doing so?
Instantly, my mouth opened and with great disdain the following just rolled off my tongue, "I really don't like homeschooling, and I just want it done."
I wanted to retract those words immediately because the tone I used made them sound so ugly and negative, and for the love of Pete! Hadn't I just come back from a lovely mini vacation 72 hours prior to this conversation? Which was to refresh my spirit and regroup?
While on my mini vacation, I had realized that my near-constant complaining about homeschooling to David or acting as though I detest it must send one nasty message to him when he sacrifices so much in order for us to homeschool. How does all of my complaining make him feel? Unappreciated perhaps? As a mom, I cannot stand it when my kids seem to be on a complaining binge, and truthfully, it makes my heart so sad when they do just that.
I was conveying these thoughts to another homeschool mom a couple of days later, when she referred to this feeling as (in her own words)..."I am just ready to be the mom again."
I'm just ready to be the mom again.
What teacher isn't ready for summer break? I'm tired of being the 24/7 school teacher. I'm tired of being the nagging school teacher mom, the task master mom, the "mean" parent pushing the child along to stay on target with school...morning, noon, and night, because we do have homework even though we homeschool. (Jr and Sr High isn't so easy peasy as the early elementary years.) At bedtime I just want them in their beds, out of my sight. I want to be alone. I know that must sound horrible.
You may ask where is David in all of this? Well, he can be found raising funds in order to keep a roof over our school house.
I am so ready for school to be over because I just want to be a mom, not the school teacher.
I want to be a happier, funnier, more relaxed mom. I want to have energy that flows well past my current bewitching hour. I want to have a slower pace, not rushing my kids through the day as I check off each moment from our never-ending, daily "to do" list.
Wanting to just be Mom is what drives me to stay on task and finish up on time. Knowing that I have 6-8 weeks off is the light at the end of the tunnel. It guides our homeschool to stay on task (almost) always. And by the end of each school year, I'm tired and worn out.
So for now, (and the next seven weeks), I am just Mom. For the next seven weeks I plan to relish the role and thank God for the opportunity to be Mom. I love that role.
*When I say "just Mom", that isn't meant in a derogatory manner. No m'am! The role of Mom is another full time and honorable (blessing) vocation in and of itself. I'm just thrilled to have the two roles separated for a little while.
~ Patty ~