Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A little hello...

... from a little Joy to remind me that he - (using proper English here only) -  is safely snug underneath the beating of my heart.  Isn't it amazing how many unspoken words are released with the feel of a few pokes!

What joy!

(My vinca flowers...the only surviving annuals from the heat and drought.  Tough little ladies.)

And even with those pokes, I still fear loss.  I still fight the battle of anxiety.  Oh, I am waging a battle against those dark worries and I think I'm winning.   But!  (There is always a but..)  Dog-gone-it!  Giving it all to Him can be so hard at times, can't it?  So, I humbly ask you to continue to pray for me.

Onto a very personal note...

You may wonder why I'm so anxious.  Well, it is rather complicated, and where  I never thought I'd announce my crazy health issues in public, it may shed some light on the issue.  

So here they are...and please know that as crazy as they sound, I am not in any imminent danger; all can be worked with.  I am in good hands!

~ I was born with a bicornuate uterus.  It was found after our second loss through a hysteroscopy.

~ Incompetent Cervix.  Closely tied to the bicornuate uterus.  My "viable" pregnancies require a cervical cerclage. due to the incompetent cervix.  *See next problem*

~ A "stuck" cerclage.  Normally, with an incompetent uterus, you have one cerclage placed around 14 weeks for the duration of the pregnancy, and then it is removed just before delivery or after.  My last one (8 1/2 years old now)  happened to embed itself into the lining of my cervix.  What was suppose to be temporary became permanent.

Where this must have happened to another woman along the way, it is not in the medical books and no one has actually heard of it.

Five doctors - same opinion:  Prior to recent pregnancies it was recommended that it shouldn't be touched.    It could end up in a hysterectomy.  

At this time, we are praying that it holds up for a second pregnancy.  I must add, the doctors are keeping an eagle eye on me.  Starting next week, I will go in every two weeks to have a measurement taken of my cervix.  

**Note: I have miscarried naturally with this in and have also had  a D & C with it in.  Praise God I have grown greatly in tuned with my body and can actually feel when things are starting to tug and pull. The vomiting  really pulls and tugs at it.**

~ History of miscarriage (one in the second term).

~ Congenital Heart Defects.  I have a daughter and a brother born with congenital heart defects.  Both required open heart surgery.  There is a family gene floating around somewhere...

~ Hypothyroid.  I battle this greatly, especially during pregnancy.  Currently getting my blood checked every 2-3 weeks now.

~  I have a history of c-section.  This will be my fourth, but it will have been 8 1/2 years by the time I go in.  The doctor would be more concerned if the sections were all back-to-back.

~ Last, my age :)  I am 42... and let me tell you girlfriend, age is the least of our concerns.  I have to laugh though, they sure make you feel like the geriatrics of the OB world.  My goodness!

That's it.  The whole kit and kaboodle!  

So, for now, the medical plan  is cervical measurements every two weeks, thyroid checks every 2-3 weeks, and they do intend to take baby Joy two weeks early (sometime the end of January).  Which is fine with me.  I happen to have very hearty babies :)

Please continue the prayers!  I will take all the prayer power out there because, as many of you know yourselves, the power of prayer is mighty indeed.

~  Patty  ~


  1. Continue to pray without ceasing. It is hard, though, isn't it? Know that all of this has already been thought out by our Good God and He will take care of you. You are in our nightly family prayers. God Bless you and your lovely family!

  2. I have never heard of a stuck cerclage! Can they reinforce it if necessary? (Jen may not read this post!) Your history is challenging, but certainly not impossible. It sounds like you are being watched carefully and are willing to hang upside down for the next 5 months if necessary! Praying for a happy ending to a stressful time. So fun and reassuring to feel that little flutter.

  3. Heather, wonderful words to remember! "...this has already been thought out by our Good God..."

    I needed to hear that (again :)

    Jill, yes! I would hang upside if need be LOL

    They've talked about reinforcing with a new one, but we won't cross that bridge unless we have to. The question is where to put it? What kind of room do we have to work with?

  4. Patty and Jill, I'll let you guys talk about the nitty gritty details that I can do without thank you very much!! :) You know you have my prayers, the anxiety can do a number can't it??!! Hang in there.

  5. Starting to feel the little flutters of Baby Gem too! Still not always sure if that is what I feel or the VERY over-active tummy that I seem to have during pregnancy :) BUT, yesterday while in the dentist chair and at just the right angle...there they were. Consistant and reassuring. Be still my heart.

    Aren't these miracles precious? Aren't they hard not to worry over? How can our mothers hearts not leap with excitement and yet reservedly, quietly wait in fear? Having known loss and heartache, we cannot help but be anxious but yet we cannot help but trust with a hopeful heart. That is the catch of motherhood. I've felt it and I still feel it again with this pregnancy. Whether they come as a surprise or not, we are blessed with these beautiful lives.

    You are always a short prayer away!

  6. You continue to be in my prayers, Patty. It is great that the doctors know what they are dealing with and can be "ahead of game" with you. Praying for baby Joy... and if it is a girl, you know you have to name her Joy, right?! :)

  7. Ah Patty...I know the stress of the negative thoughts creeping in. As a friend once said, I think we women live too much in our heads! I will keep you, baby Joy and the rest of the family in my prayers.
    From the fears that grip our hearts, deliver us Jesus.
    For a trusting and peaceful heart, we beg You!

  8. I'm praying hard for you Patty, and for baby Joy! God bless.

  9. Patty, I will be praying for you too!

  10. Boy, I'm behind on my blog reading! Yes, the power of prayer is certainly mighty, my friend. I will keep offering you up, each chance I get. You are in our family prayer box and I will remember you in my rosary and holy hours too. You have a powerful story and he is certainly transforming your tests into life! God love you always!


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