Saturday, May 8, 2010

Red...Like Strawberries and Firetrucks

I came home from grocery shopping late yesterday to find my mother's day present waiting for me...calling out my name...and Oh! they looked absolutely delish!
You are feasting your eyes upon six, giant, chocolate-covered, lip-smacking, decadent, luscious strawberries!  And they are all mine!  Mine to savor over the course of the weekend.    Do you think that I will cave and share these glorious creatures with my family? I'm sure I'll cut them each a sliver of a piece!

They came carefully packaged and chilled in this case you were thinking that you needed them as well.
And look carefully at that warning I found on the box:

My husband thought it would be something to talk/ blog about...oh! he knows me too well....

So late last night, David decided he was going to smoke a turkey and do it through the night.   Let's just say I didn't like the idea...
I tried to come up with your typical garden-variety of reasons: Can't you do this during the day, tomorrow? I won't get any sleep, You will wake everyone up going in and know. 

What I really wanted to yell out was:  You are going to make our clean sheets smell like smoke!  You are being ridiculous!  You mean we won't be able to sleep with the windows open?  (The smoker would blow right in..) Why do you have to do things the difficult way? 

I ended up dropping my hints of unhappiness like this:  I turn out the bedroom lights before he comes to bed, I won't look at him when I go into the kitchen.  I end up saying, "Well, you could at least grease the dang squeaky backdoor!"  That would fix him... so I thought. 

He greased the door and went on doing what he intended to do .. smoke that darned turkey throughout the night.  Great!

I woke up about two hours later with this loud talking outside.  We have those kind of neighbors that do not know how to use and "inside" voice when they are outside at midnight.  They are loud and now!  Who do they talk to? They have FOUR dogs - ridiculous!!!!  They talk this baby-gibberish to the dogs, at high volume, at all hours...

Yes, I have yelled out the window in the past.  Only embarrassed by it in the morning!

So, I hear this talking going on...I actually thought it was Sally outside with David.  I fidget, toss and turn, and then jump up, yank up the blinds, throw up the window to find it is the neighbors.   She is on the phone and I hear her say, ".....okay.  Thank you." Click.  "Mom, get the dogs in the house and turn off the light." sixth sense kicks in...I can bet my bottom dollar that wasn't a pizza call she just made.  In a split second I can assess what has just happened...

Smoke from the smoker (which smells delicious by the way..) is quickly blowing in very small puffs, over the fence, in their direction.  I betcha that they just called the fire department!!!!  How much you wanna bet?

I climb back into bed, grumbling to myself ...really mad at David...not only have I thought this to be a bad idea to begin I've been woken up (and you don't want to see this person when woken up...I'm an angry little elf, a south pole elf)...and we will probably get a fine for having a smoker smokin' away at night!

Sure enough... within three minutes, I hear the sounds of a VERY BIG rig coming down the road.  At that time of night, it can only mean a firetruck - no sirens - Praise the Lord! - but lights a-flashin'.  Great! And now a fine to boot!

Again, I tear back the sheets, throw open the bedroom door, storm out into the living room to find David about ready to take a snooze on the recliner and I announce...."You have a firetruck outside and I know it is because of the smoker.  We are probably going to get a fine!" 

And the embarrassment started coming on..."Oh! What will the neighbors think of us!"

David just laughed.  He got on his shoes and went out the front door to meet the firemen.  He came back in laughing with these details:

David: "You are not here because of a smoker, are you?"

Fireman #1: "No.  But we got a call that there was smoke.  I don't smell any smoke, do you?"  turning to ask the other two fireman who all replied an affirmative, "NO."

David: "Is the smoke bothering her?" Pointing to the neighbor's house.

Fireman #1: "No.  You said you've got somethin' smokin' in the back?  What is it?!"

David: "I'm smokin' a turkey."

Fireman #2: "Is it done?"   With a smart-Alick grin really asking if they could have some?!

David: "No."  Starting to laugh with them.

Fireman #1: "Darn!"

And they got into the rig and drove off....

He climbed into bed, smoke-smelling clothes and all, and told me the story.  My temper started to ease when I told him it was the neighbor who called us in...not sure if it was out of concern or to get us...

After a few seconds of silence pass, with a smart-alick smirk I say, "I know what I'm going to blog about!" 

He thanked me for allowing him to give me the fodder!


  1. Was the turkey good??

  2. So, just an ordinary night at your house then?

  3. Bet the kids were sorry they missed the exciting events of the night!


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