I recognized him immediately in the form of self-pity and laziness. It's funny how he can show up, isn't it?
He had tried to convince me that I could not handle visiting the Blessed Sacrament, Our Lord, once a week. I mean home school was starting again and I would just be way too busy.
I had loved the new Adoration hours that had been set up for the Advent and Christmas season. Hopped right on board. I had the perfect day, (Friday), and the perfect time (11 - noon).
It was amazing to sit with Our Lord, especially during such a holy season. It was the spiritual anchor I needed!
On top of that, I had been desiring a day of Adoration for our parish, which in the past, only came one night a week for one hour. I found that sad.
Of course, I jumped on the opportunity when the opportunity arose. I would come out thinking how nice it would be if the parish would continue this throughout the year. And then they did!
I was delighted to hear that they had decided to continue keeping Friday as a full day of Adoration. Prayers answered.
That's when he messed with my head.
I found myself doubting that I could "give up" any more of my time. The excuses started to pour into my brain...I was going to be busy enough with home schooling....the sports routine....working with the baby....overloading my schedule. I even told the woman in charge that I probably won't be able to continue, and that I would phone her.
Seriously, it didn't take me long to realize who was messing with my head. I never did phone the woman. I just kept attending.
The older girls take turns attending with me. They rotate so someone is at home babysitting. (Yes, my ringer is off but I keep my phone in sight so they can text me in case of baby question or emergency only.)
Little man and Miss Clementine....I don't bother yet. Selfish as it may sound, I need the time to spiritually refill. Honestly, at the stage that they are in, discouragement on my behalf would be the only outcome if I attempted to bring them. Some day though.
So now I come out of the Holy Hour asking myself...hmmm....what is that little devil going to do now to try and trip me up? He never ceases. And don't you find that the more you pray, the more he works so devilishly hard to make you fall?
Praise God! for the spiritual gifts of the Holy Spirit!!
~ Patty ~